I need help removing her.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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