I CAN MOONWALK!
you win again, gameday.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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