Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
