Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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