I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
