Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
