it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
3pm strippers are depressing
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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