Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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