i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
