dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
