i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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