Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
