if i died would you start the facebook group?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
