My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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