You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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