Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
