We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
