Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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