so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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