the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
