Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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