We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
