his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
