How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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