Kiss
Puke
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
