You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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