U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
