i would punch a child for taco bell
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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