I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
