I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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