Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
