As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
