are you still at the devil's house?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
