YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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