Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My vagina just recognized that song.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
