I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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