she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize