careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
