She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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