I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
