walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
