Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
