You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
