new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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