wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
