we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
