his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
