how can u be prego again
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
