She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
