I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
