My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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