id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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