I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
