I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
