heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
